Sandral's Wish

I think this could be the difficult time in life, i never felt so miserable in life. Having no faith in life, unable to figure out my purpose of living, the future looks dim. I gave up my lavish lifestyle and jus want to be myself, apparently it is so tough. I approached an old firend to chat and i believed that she is no longer here for me anymore.

Everything I am facing at this point of time is quite a big blow for me. No matter how I tell myself to calm down and stop dwelling about it, makes me look so stupid to smile everyday & thinks that nothing is wrong wit my life or consistently tell myself "Is okie, God will help you".

I dislike myself, my life, my relationship and family. You know why? I find myself very foolish to do so many thing yet nobody sees it. Apparently, people thought that whatever things I have done or said is bad, dumb & stupid. People also like to hear the opposite stuff I said, most of the time what I said is true. I tried making my life live as fulliest and happier as I can, everything seem so different from what I plan and think. Am I the dumb one because I am going to be convinced that I am!! Because I am the one who cares about things, looking like a FOOL. I am serious that I am not whinning.

My family treats me like a STRANGER, except for my dad cos he is busy working. But have you guys thought of the future ahead, only knows how to talk & talk without brain. My boyfriend likes to enjoy his own life and leaves everything to the very last minute to do. I think he should ask himself a very simple question, wht have you achieve in life for you to enjoy so much in life?

Why cannot you guys be more responsible for your own life, not for me but yourselves? Think of doing something great and good and start doing it, stop all your planning!! Start doing!! I can plan and plan to be a lawyer too, keep planning and do nothing! Life doesnt work like tht. Age is not a matter, I was matured to behave as an adult when I was 15!! I doubt some adults are sure of who they are as compared to me.

It is going to be about myself, my rules & me!! I knew & know what I want in life, clearer than anyone! I never dream, and work hard and harder for it. I dont want anything to screw up, I want people who are organised and determined to surround. I cannot stand stupid, ignorant, arrogant and self-centered people in my life anymore. I have no much time to waste on you people. I cannot give up now cos I given too much and hence I need to more on.

I am afraid that my grade will not be good enough to go UK.

I am afraid that I cannot leave Singapore.

I am afraid that I cannot manage life anyone.

I am afraid that God is not here for me at this point of time.

I am afraid that I will break down any moment.

I am afraid to be so afraid.

I am afraid that life is fooling me.

I am afraid of being me.

I am afraid of the future.

I am afraid to give up now.

I am afraid that I meeting my weakest point of my life now.

I am afraid that I have to love only myself now.

I am afraid to lose anything good in my life.

I am afraid to be the last, so sorry that I am going to be the best.

I am afraid that I cannot allow all this bad thing to happen.

My fear will be overcome cos I am awared of all and do everything to prevent it. Today, I could tell who are sincere to me in life and i am very grateful to them. I met 2 girl who is very amazing and dear to me last year and my fei fei who I have neglected her for some time. Thanks for talking to me and maybe, it is fated for me to face so much test in life. So I will face it all myself if no one is facing wit me and leave this place!

I love this song because it sounded alot like me, as though it is singing to me ad telling me I am too right about life. It is called Sophia's Wish and too similiar like Sandral's Wish. Let me translate the song to English, might not be good so please bear wit it.

Bid Here and Take Care!!

蘇菲亞的願望

(Listen to the full song - http://www.imeem.com/bluebery/music/R3gSgG4L/js-sophia-de-yuan-wang)

Sophia left her family to search for an unachievable dream.

Bidded from her lovig parents and the familiar villiage.

Sophia is not a speaker and has a very different concept about the world.

Noone could really understand her and perhaps she might find her use in that dream city of hers.

Forgive her, as she has only a wish like every other kids. It is really that hard?

How much more does she needs to sacrifice to fufil her wish?

In this jorney, has only a wish with her in the baggage.

Perhaps she is struggling or frightened throughout the journey.

It does not really matter much to her because the next step could be heaven.

There is no stars in this gleaming city, and out of sudden her tears drop.

The world is too small compared to her deam, maybe the doctrine of life is a cruel joke.

Sophia cut away her long hair, powdered and recovered her purity.

She kept convincing herself that is her, although she cannot even recognise her own herself. After all, her situation is still not so bad.

They told her that in process of fulfilling your dream is bound to lose some of yourself.

She questioned herself in front of the mirror and asked whether is this really what she is asking for.

Try to comfort her as you probably have faced or facing the similiar problem before

In this jorney, has only a wish with her in the baggage.

Perhaps she is struggling or frightened throughout the journey.

It does not really matter much to her because the next step could be heaven.

There is no stars in this gleaming city, and out of sudden her tears drop.

The doctine of life is never a joke.

Be it whether the world is small or dream is big, she is the still the same old her.

In the arms of the angels

I'm making use of my 15min break before the partial studying & Harpers' Island time to blog. So sorry, my blog has been relatively in the sickbed for long. I not in the sickbed though, was trying hard to work very hard. Exam is drawing near, every effort will be counted for sure.

I'm so thankful for everything I have, tell you why cos I have done some most beautiful thing during my blog's sickbed time. First, Good Firday indeed changed me, I make sure that I try to own a daily prayer. Secondly, I asked God to give me motivation and courage to continue during this very turmoil time. Thirdly, I really really owes my dad, des, his family and my friends alot. Forthly, those movies which make me happy and enjoyed myself in the cinema=) Next up, I thank God for my books and plenty & limited time toward the exam.

Trust me, I will fly high so high that I cannot help but peep down to earth=) and I am starting to believed that I meant to be so different from others whom I had known.

I not acting holy, I am just giving thanks..I am loving Angel by Sarah McLachlan

Please visit Dareius blog if feasible and share your food thoughts, thanks -http://smellmyfood.blogspot.com

Just those few people could melt my lil frozen heart!!

I miss Hui Shan and Yong An too=)

Thanks my baby love, for the relaxing day in the CC=) Happy 8th month Anniversary to you!

Bid Here and may you will find some comfort here=)

Adious

Simple things in Life

It has been a while, Exam are coming here in 8 weeks' time. The preparation is tough, not yet done, to be contiuned, of course Insufficient. It is so important for me, something which can motivate me to go very very far. At this point, I learnt that it is no point being smart because is only that far it can bring you. With hardwork, it really bring you further.

I want to cry one more time when I get back my contract law, in fact for all my subjects.

I want to Shed those happy tears again in August.

I have been very strict wit myself & it is a wrong way for me to learn, so disappointed wit myself. It seem like I've lost my principles and human instinct; behaving like an animal who is fighting for food when I already have my own share. Trying to be perfect yet I know how unperfect i am. A 'me' where I never seen before and wishes that I wont be seeing again.

Around me, there are good people who I cares about, in the very same time they care about me too. It will be a letdown to breakdown and give up now. It is a pathway God has chosen for me to exprience toughness and enjoy sweetness in the same time, lastly to test me again. I must not fail him, not again.

I have eventful times too;

1. Watched movie - Coming soon with baby and Jansen, - Suspect X with Grace, Tracy, Rach and Ezra.

2. Cable Care and Sushi tei-ing with Grace, Tracy, Rach and Ezra.

3. Accompanied baby to his soccer tournament.

4. American Idol time=)

Dont ask why my life is always revoluting around them because they bothered to care about me and you dont!! It is so simple and I am so cool with it, dont make life difficult for everybody, and since chances are high that I am going to be away for the next 3 years. Trust me, you will be forgotten without pain as I seen the right way to live, betrayal, hurted, loved by all sort of people. I take it very lightly, wit no hard feeling=)

I was lighten up after watching Mall Cop wit myself (which was the original plan but I reckoned why I started buzzing up people) and an ad-hoc massage and herbal sauna treatment where I was enlighten by the massager with the History of China and life. There is the point I found myself back.

Wee, I am doing work wit Rachel daily and knowing that Grace is working hard in Group 2 too!! My wish to go overseas wit my baby is always spoilt by some vitating factors=( Hopefully the Kukup Trip will be going sucessfully.

Baby, can you please upload the pictures!! I am lossing my patience seriously. It is pointless and saddening when you planned something and it is not carried out. Sleeping / Napping in the afternoon and morning is not the way I wan to spend my weekends, so I hope you can understand cos the weekends I gave to you is very important. We can use it to do alot of things, but not sleeping anymore. I still love you so so so so so so much.

This 8 weeks I am going to be truely busy with exam and preparation of my future. Date me out now if you want because I will be even busier after May and Sept I might be going away from Singapore for 3 good year=) However I will make sure to have fun too, to improve that I have a good start is tomorrow, my baby is bringing me to Sentosa! Tuesday, I am meeting Hui Shan after so long for dinner. Now, I have 8 hours to study before I head to baby's place.

Keep everything simple, even your mind and able to live an exciting life

Take care

Bid Here

Adious

Untitled

I cannot think of a blog name today so I named it "untitled". I am physically unwell=( it is a sudden slowdown in my body cos she was trying to tell me to go slowly for the past few weeks but I painly didnt take her advice. So sorry to myself, I promising her to take a break from the outside world for a day. Sometimes that is why observing our surroundings is so important hence I am staying at home to study & blog but jus for a short while.

For the past few weeks, I am blessed with happiness from my baby, my cliques, my fei fei & daddy. Although there are tons of decisions to be make in my life, happiness is what it kept me alive. As I am finishing my diploma in May, I have to make choices to go where for my studies. First of all, I am going to study hard to do well in my diploma in Law.

We are going to spilt up very soon, too soon that I dont want to think about it. Ytd, we plan to buy a mansion in New Zeland & each of us got to come up with $10 million. I believed this dream will be filful after we complete our studies & become a lawyer who works & save very hard so it is my duty to walk towards this goal.

In life, the first thing you must do is knowing yourself & principles then plan your life with focus. You might think that I am talking shit now, but little you know what will happen next. An incident which happened in my Secondary School day, where a girl in my class was having heaty arugement & she was mocking at me / my english. Today the only thing I remember telling her is "See who'll make the last laugh", although I have not make my name yet but I made that promise to myself. Thank you to those who look down at me & now take a good look at yourself.

I might be proud in your eyes but I am always very humble when I am learning. That is why I made it to this far, to do what people deem I cannot do. I am proud of myself, as I saying it, can you say the same thing to yourself? People can hate me with all their wishes, cos I dont care=) In life, there are people who love me for what I am, I have the list of them marked in my heart. A million thanks to them too as they pushing me to work extra hard. My cliques push me to study harder to reach their standards & do well.

My baby, thank you so much after so much. I love the Valentine day though I nagged about the rose part. I love the seafood meal which you cooked for me as it digested inside me, it melts inside my heart too. Darling, as much as happiness is with us unhappiness will too, so I thank you for your ears & patience for me at times

Though I am studying almost everyday, I have my life too. My life is with my DAD, BABY, Rach, Grace, Lydia, Ezra, Stephenie, Charles & they are called L.O.V.E=)

I dont have to be alone whilst Watching Movie, Singing, Playing Mahjong, Playing Monopoly, dreaming, smiling, talking, chatting, joking, nagging, appreciating, learning STUDYING & even walking & crying as I am bliss knowing they appreciates me.

I am feeling so bliss whilst I recieved their msg=) So my blog song is illustrating my happiness, Taylor Swift & my love story=)

To whoever the fake "forbiddenowin" / friends' is I am not bothered by you too. I guessed you have to show more improvement in your own english then those who fail their english, so happens that there are tons of people around the globe who are not familiarise with english. I am fine with the way I am blogging & whether the decision to blog lies solely on me, alright. I have my RIGHT to blog=) as according to the law although some rights are indeed sujected to the law. But if you are studying law, then go to the chapter, Civil Liberities in your Public Law study guide & read about it=)

Human bound to make mistakess no one is perfect, so I dont need to try hard to be perfect in your eyes as you are NOTHING to me. Give yourself some respect=) I hope I will have no more conversation with you anymore.

I am going to live a moderate life from now onwards to May!
1) Max. 6 movies per month
2) No clubbing
3) No eating lunch & Only one Hot chocolate with milk per day
4) No reuqesting for more money
5) Sleep at 11pm & Wake up at 4.30am to study in every Mon - Thur

So my friends, Dont tempted me anymore, okie?

I will try to post the pictures asap.

I saw a rainbow whilst I am on the train home ytd

To Liyana & Shan, work hard for your studies too

I miss my Baby & Cliques=(

Bid Here

Adious

Unwell

Hey, I'm feeling blue today, hence my blog song is a old (not too old) song named Unwell. I am not physically unwell but mentally. Perhaps, it is the over-working impact so now I feel like throwing out my problem. Luckily Valentine Day is around the corner *weak smile*

It isnt concerning about the tagboard thingy, since those people criticised me quite a few times but without correcting my mistake(s) that simply shows either they are immature to think tht i will be bothered with them or they think too highly of themselves. They probably should really reflect to see whether they try to correct themselves before critisicing others'.

In fact, the issue is about my school discussion group. Apparently, I felt very uncomfortable & transparent there, although I wanted to try my best to blend in at first. I think I've tried but not hard enough. I seldom feel so discouraged yet I cannot figure out the reason. I know myself too well to say there is no personal grudges included thus it is either to walk into my class to receive scolding or to input hardwork & see nothing in return that makes me so helpless.

I might appear stupid most of the time, but not this time.

I requested to change my group (not because I need to be with my friend) & didnt want to go to school today, knowing that the same old scene will act again.

I even feel that if I had gone to school, I would not show my work & find ways to get chased out of the classroom.

Im not a selfish person most of the time, but I chose to be this time.

Im not very demanding person (maybe when I was buying stuff) most of the time, but I chose to be troublesome jus for this time.

I need to be respected as how I respect people

I hate to be detest by others' but this time everyone can hate me for all I care.

I may not be enjoying the new group for all I care, right now I am suffering.

I dont fool wit my studies because I cannot afford to as I have my plans to follow up.

I am so sorry that I am choosing & whinning about my group although I know it is not right as I am not good enought to be choosy either.

I am what I described to you that "You either hate or love me when you know me".

I am decribed by my blog song & tht is exactly how I am feeling.

I want to make this decision without regret like how I always do.

I want to get started & smile brightly on everyday again.

That's all I want to say.

Hope for the best, pray for the worst

Thank you all for you who adviced me for this matter.

Grace & Rachel, Thanks for checking my english & I have to say it makes me smile while I am correcting myself=)

Bid Here

Adious

Another new chapter on her life

Hello Hello~~ It is 2009 according to Chinese Lunar Calandar; supposed to be the offical start of the year around the globe cos of the summer start but again the English are very smart to think 0101 to start a year=) *Wink*

It is not the end but rather the start of a chapter!! Lengthy posty=)

I having very good start of the year so tht I CANNOT gamble cos I can bound to lose..Hence, I not going to! In additional, I am fighting everyday to grant me more time for love & fun. Nothing is enough, although i have got plenty.

52 weeks in a year, 4 weeks in a month, 7 days in a week, 24 hours in a day, 60 min in an hour, 60 senonds in a min.

The weekdays, love & have fun with my cliques & studies & baby

The weekends, love & have fun with my baby.

It repeats its cycle for the whole year for 352days=)

Doubiously, I enjoyed my visiting alot for this year as it has been so different from the past few years. My friends never visited my place for CNY & it is the first time it happened. Funny thing is they all enjoyed it; the noise from .... ... It is also the first time I hav a boyfriend family to visit to. Everyone including me has a first time to everything=) Lastly, the first time for me to become a Mahjong Mistress=)

Whilst I was tidying my room, I found my CME work which Mrs Logan made me worked on in 2005 & little I realised that I am actually fulfilling one by one but except the wrong course and school. It was written to be Design / IT program, nevertheless I went to a more specific course. I stated that I wanted to marry in 2014 & now I have a change of plan, probably to engage in 2014 instead of marrying.

Time files, a work done 4 years ago, seem like yesterday when i jus glanced at it. A young & navie girl will change time to time, jus like what I wrote about marriage. It is absurd to type it out but the standard of my partner has unfortuntely hike up & the name of my childrens' changes time to time. Everything about 4 years ago, came back to me & this is one of those reasons I am playing this blog song=)

At the same time, some dreams are still dream to catch for me=) I will catch it as I promised myself together with more dreams cos I will make a difference in my life. It is jus too important for me not to, I dont wan to live my life with regrets. So far, I dont not but for one thing which I never will forget, never will I. Everything, now turns out fine as much as I am concerned with a different group of supportive friends are even better. I never thought that 3 girls can form a circle to communicate until Rachel & Grace then I found myself too carefree to do so. It is better than any friendship I ever have, we are very common & both are much intelligent than i am. Blessing instead of Jealously we will give to one another.

This chapter is the chapter I marked to remember my entire life althought I will have tons of people to give thanks to.=) I have new objectives in my life to which I stated in the left side of this blog. Living a life without any regrets is the top priority!!

Thanks to my daddy who said during 'Lo Hei' treat ytd tht to get to Cambridge & Oxford which is barely impossible=) All the support you have been given me whihc were everything tht I can asked for.

Happy Anniversary to Desmy=) I have a letter to be given to you from your angel!! haha..The brightest Sun Ray I have been exposed to!! Thank you, you!! Sorry for the insufficent time for you for the weekdays cos I have to study real hard. Anyway, thanks for being there so so much.

I am having the most tough & happiest time of my life. I never see myself study hard till now, I am so unexpected as known to some. By 2012 is the year I want to see myself graduating my LLB. By the way, congrats to Ezra (Lord Denning II) it gives us more reasons to work hard=)

This song sang by Celine Dion in the 80s is a classic & 3 reasons for this song! First, I love it as it is suitable for my post. Secondly, Rachel suggested me to. Thirdly, I am very inspired by this singer. Read her in wiki!! Haha..

The pictures I will update asap=) Doing my work soon=) I think it is time to revamp my blog, do you think the same?

Thank you God for everything, really!!

Miss & love my Baby Baby Baby!!

Love my cliques=)

Bid Here

Adious

09 First Blog

I do misses all of you but i had tons of thing to attend to. I had just finish my Mock Examination & gotten back results for it & O level English.

But first, I am going to show you picture regarding my New Year Celebration. It is superb if one is to say, we won a 4.5l of Black Label (Cannon) in M Hotel & make new causal friends. Check out the pictures & we recieved the first best present from God!!

I was duly mugging on the week of my examination, this one could say is last minute studying but I did the best i could. Except for 2 days where I accompanied Michell & Chrissie to eat, shop & club!! On the previous day of my last paper, I only had my dinner at 12.30am after my dad dragged me out from my room. Do not do last minute studying anymore cos it is no good for your health.

Ask me 'How was the paper', one would said tht they are fine!!
Ask me 'About the paper', one would said they are good but it was me who screw up.
I screwed up in my Criminal paper by answering the wrongly for a question & miss alot of things out which i was quite good during revision time.
Contract was okie from a 2 to a pass is an achievement, probably scored higher if i have time to finish my last question.
Public is the least expected one, I barely study & 6 marks to pass.
Lastly, Common is the most frustrated of all, I reckon was the mentor or i'm the one was screwed up. I have alot of reservation regards on him & stuff, holding my temper & try to be nice..

On the last day of the paper, we all went to watch Red Cliff 2 at Cine together.. Awesome movie in my opinion!! The weekends I spent it with my Sarang cos I have not seen him for a week and Great Seafood Dinner with his Parents' & friends on Saturday! On Sunday, we went to watch Seven Pound=)

On Monday, 7 of us went to Bugis Street to shop for new year stuff!! Well, it was my idea but a good one. I got the most bags home, cos the stuffs there are super cheap~~ so cheapppy!! I am cheapskate..Then we went to Holiday Inn where Mrs Chong staying for buffet then we went up to her room where i stayed for a night!! Cheap & Nice Buffet.. The Pictures I will update soon!!

On Tuesday & Wednesday, the new tutorial group started which was so bad as I thought. Hmm, I gotten my English result only on Wednesday, L1R4 is 20 but I dont need it anymore.=) B3 made me cant stop smiling for the whole day, I am not like those lousy bum in the past anymore. My cliques are very supportive, like Rachel, Grace & President gave me words of encouragement. Ezra of cos, has his own way of expressing him. My BABY, treated me Billy Bomber on the following day, the sweetest. Hui Shan, I felt her true happiness for me. Thank you girl!! I scored the same as my cousin!! Wee~~ Rach, Steph & myself went singing together on Tues!! Weee~~LUCKY~~

But in reality, everything good thing does come with a price. My mum hates that I am good jus like a petty bitch. Hais, disowning is the best thing I seriously think we should adopt cos I am tired to be dragged by her nonsenses. I have no such time for all this cos my degree is the one which matters to me the most. I still cried hard that day, my Baby was the suffering one, we went out & met Charles at night to watch Ong Bak 2. Funny movie, dont watch it okie!! On the same day, Baby mummy gave in a Diamond Pendant from Citigems=) Thank you & she made me wear both necklance from herself & baby

Friday, we went to Ikea to shop around & for dinner we ate the steamed Ponfrets I made=) Then Eunice's 21th Birthday Party which is still okie, but tough night to sleep with Baby at night. I felt Terrence nice side on tht day too=) Saturday & Sunday, we stayed at home to watch moive=) Sunday, we went to Seletar CC for dinner & home I went~

Yesterday, we just started our G8 together & we will make sure everyone do well~! I learnt good important things hence it will continue till the exam is over. Bs is my sole aim, I have good & intelligent pals to work with=) Hee, Lydia & I saw an Ugly Famous Icon=) I met Ya Ting & Shu Yi at Causeway Point. I am blogging at this time because for the next 2 weeks I will be very busy. Lesson from morning till 10pm & gotten pack my room till Friday, watching 'Alls well end well 2009' !! Weekends to Sentosa & help baby to pack his room!! Next Monday, you know what is tht~~Chinese New Year EVE!!!

So You can dance, you can Jump HAVING the time of your life..Wooh, see tht girl..she is the DANCING QUEEN!! It is my blog song & hope everyone would be as happy as myself~~ It will probably be oldies for this few months, heehee~

Love my Baby & Daddy!! Thank you Baby & Happy Advance 5th Month Anniversary to you!!
Love my buddies, Im having my time of life because of all of you. Different people, different knowledge, different character came together cos of fate~! - Rach, Charles, Grace, Ezra, Lydia, Mrs Chong & Toot Toot Stephanie, Thank you, it is my honourable pleassure to meet you guys~
Thank you GOD for this year, I love my Life so so much!!

Bid Here

Adious

My admiration for 08 & to welcome 09

First, I shall allow the pictures to make the honorable opening.

The Orchard Parade Hotel Party for Rahman's Enlistment.

Singapore Flyer Trip & Riz Carlton with Baby, William & Jacquline on 21st Dec after my Mom's Birthday Celebration.

X'mas Rendezvous with my cliques, baby & his family. X'mas was awesome shit, I had BBQ with friends, traditional feast (without turkey) with Desmond's family & attended church. Mini hangout & party at Orchard Road & Ezra's Place. Most importantly I didnt have the chance to wish all my concerning friends Merry Christmas cos of the default of my phone. Nonetheless, I am wishing everyone Belated Merriest Christmas.

Kranji Agriculture Farm – Nice place to visit as it is like another island of Singapore. Fresh plantation, huge fishes, showy parrot, beautiful resort & my charming baby. I am sorry to make you walk so much under the rain~~

29th Dec, 1 year friendship & 4 months of relationship Anniversary=) Thank you Desmond Choo for always be there when I need you.. I brought him to Yuki Yaki for dinner & bumped to my primary school friend. Desmond is a very happy & good cook wit the pot. The ice-cream & service is good good, then we went to ESP for a gig & picture taking. Next we went to Swisstel wanted to go New Asia Bar but my baby is only 20=(. However, the day still ends well as we had our individual beer in Briztol. I bought a couple froggy handphone stripe & he bought me a packet of tea. Love Love Love~~ & many more good years to come=)

Now, Da Reflection Time

2008 has been a wonderful year, I am so bliss, really!! The best thing is to get back to school, spent everyday by learning new things as I trying to make a different in life. I earned true friendship who are so dear to me; Tracy, Grace, Rachel, Ezra, Charles, Lydia, Stephanie, Mrs Chong, basically J2 I love you so so much~~. Those friends I known for long, I take this time to thank you guys too. This year as much as fruitful it is, I have some undone things too. But I guess it can only be continued to 2009, which some of the things I am quite guilty about.. For any wrong I had done I apologising here today.

As 2008 is coming to an end in 1 day's time, I need to thank a lot of people to make what I am today, I appreciates & remember all in my heart, really. I still love my friends, Liyana & Hui Shan & today I miss Rachel & Grace alot~~ Cos no one to gossip with!!

Some updates

Met up wit Shan to shop in Orchard & watched Pride & Glory, also jus met up wit Liyana too..Send my phone for servicing & altered my Levi's pants & made a new spec..wee~~
I am basically studying for the next few day & welcoming New Year's in M Hotel tml then Clubbing on Thurs with Chrissie & her pal Michelle. I will be having my school exam on 6 – 9 Jan so I am going to be MIA. Dont worry, I will be back in a meantime enjoy this song, whatever it takes to be, which express my feeling to welcome 2009 & part from 2008~~

My 2009 Resolution

Work harder for exam & make it well
Successful UCAS application
Saving up more money
Drink less=)
Visit the orphanage once
Holiday with my baby!!
Hopefully It can be better than 2008!!

So far this much now & I wishing everyone Happy New Year with lots of love.
I am not very prepared to welcome 2009 but I will be~~

Love & Blessing upon my baby & angels
Bid Here
Adious

Post Birthday Tribute

I turned 19 on Friday, no big deal!! I wanted to do it small or none but all the sweet pies are incredible..Thank you, everyone who involved in making Nothing happened & Unexpected!

On Wednesday, Thank you my family..& I was on the show "Just for Laugh (Singapore)"

On Thursday, the very first time I celebrated my birthday in school=) Never in History, Thank you J2 so so much. I really love the Chocolate & Banana Cake. With regards to the present, I somehow know who to thank but I still want to thank all people for the Crystal Winnie the Poon.

On Friday, I need to thank Chrissie for accompanying me to eat chicken rice & the whole afternoon in her place & also her present=)

Next, My baby & his family are fabulous! Candle-light dinner, Crab, & Winnie the Poon are impossible without his parents' help. This angel bought me the world, so THANK you for everything; The White Rose, Sophia & The Necklance.

Thank you everyone who remember my birthday & call / msg me!!

Especially Rachel, Grace, Charles, Lydia, Tracy, Chrissie who msged me on 10/12, Yong An & Ya Ting who still remember my birthday & Hui Shan who made me touched to death.

Pictures will be outta soon=)

Hais, I am sad again cos it is the same person my bf is meeting to make me so. Probably it is the bad impression he had left for me, though I met this angel from him but I am disgusted. I hate the fact he like to steal my time wit my bf. I HATE IT! I HATE TO BE CONSIDERATE BUT HE NEED NOT. I HATE TO BE MAD WITH YOU COS YOU SCOLD ME TO BE SO INCONSIDERATE. I HATE YOU WHEN YOU BLUR YOUR VISION & SAY I ALWAYS HATES YOU TO GO OUT WITH YOUR FRIEND. I simply hate the fact that why you bother to entertain & presuaded by him. THE FACT IS I DONT MIND BUT THEY SHALL NOT DISTURB OUR TIME, LIKE WHAT HE DID / DOING ALWAYS. I HATE IT WHEN HE SEEM TO HAVE SO MUCH PIRORITY cos he only call you when he needs you UNLIKE ME who is always here. I HATE TO BE SAD NOW BUT GUESS I DONT HAVE A CHOICE. I HATE TO REPEAT MYSELF ALL THE TIME FOR THE SAME OLD THING & PRETEND THAT I AM A FCUKING BITCH WHEN I NOT.

I am having my study week from next week onwards till Jan 09.
Tml I will be busy for the Special Programme on Thurs.
Sat clubbing at Attica=)
Meeting with Hui Shan Next Week
Read all Dan Brown Books!!
Importantly to STUDY!!

Bless upon everyone

Bid Here

Adious

Yoyoyo, It's my Burstday

For this upcoming Friday, I having a fusion of emotions which comprise of fear & excitment!! Dont ask me how, what, why cos I aint know anything!! My mood is very relax and I am inspired by a song of Macy Gray - I try.

The school X'mas party is cancelled!! Dont ask why too!

ENOUGH of DONT KNOW why!! I had a very good week though some scenes are not as expected in that movie of mine=)

The rest of it, I will come back with more love next week!
Wish me a 19th Happy Birthday=)

Love my baby & G8 plus J2

Bid Here

Adious

Just want to update you!!

Anyway, I am faraway from sadness right now, THOUGH the BBK is cancelled cos of my part & broke. I am still quite happy cos I have true people around me most of the time now plus I should be contented to be lucky than any other people!

Thank you guys & my boy!

Yuppy, let me update you my recent life!!

After the last post, my baby & I eventually fine now=) so I stayed over his place to shop for dvd for that particular weekends! We went to JB too, to buy dvd & also watched Quantum of Solace, so basically we ENJOYED!!

Last week in school!!

We had a referendum for the Law Society President & Vice President post, I wasnt hoping to get it cos I still gotta catch up for my studies. However, my J2 girls are very supportive to vote me & anyway the Head of Law society is my friend whom I named President Hu!

So I told Desmy about it...our conversation!

[Me]: The president of Law Society is President HU

[Desmy]: WHO??

[Me]: President HU!!

[Desmy]: WHO is President HU!!??

[Me]: Oh, Charles Hu

[Desmy]: Say Charles la!! You hu hu hu, I dont care know his surname!

Anyway, last thursday we started to do the Christmas Decoration for the school & baby came to help out too!

Friday, Was Christiane's 19th Birthday! Before we went to the party, we went to JB & watch MADAGASCAR 2. It was Hilarious man, unbelievable cool! Below were the pictures taken in Liquid Kitchen @ Serangoon Garden for Chrissy birthday celebration.

From Left:Wayne, Chrissy, Desmy, myself, Keith & Jansen

[From Right]: Jansen, Keith, Desmy & myself

[From Right]: Wayne, Jansen, Keith, Desmy & myself

So for the week, nothing special as I had special another weekend with Choo's family & his daddy invited me to join them to have dinner with CEO of SMRT, Ms Saw. I am very honoured & she is amazing, I would love to see myself at where she is in the future.

Yesterday

I continued to do the decoration in school with President Hu, Rachel (who stayed till 9pm) & Grace, Stef & Lydia did helped out. Please try to walk pass Stansfield College & see my humble decoration!! ahaha, oh & the DRAMA about this Secondary kiddo eating ice-cream whom step on the vicinity of my school & called the police!! Charles & myself will not be able to forget i guess=)

I met a secondary pal twice in different places which is too concidence! Karma..

Today

Baby is in the camp & today we formed our G8 comprise of President HU, Jayson, Stef, Lydia, Ezra, Grace, Rach & myself!! haha~~ good teammates to leach knowledge from & they are my motivation in school!! After school, Charles, Rach & myself went to watch Body of Lies!! Ezra went back to school to acc Lydia, *wink wink*

Anyway, President Hu is praising me too much nowsday=)

Newsy

1. Although the gathering which Liyana organised is cancelled, I am sure & looking forward to the next one!!

2. My Exam was pushed back to Jan!

3. Baby & I are not going to BBK or holiday this year but we are bound to go for a trip, I SWEAR to god man!!

4. Since we are not going for the trip, I am looking forward for my birthday celebration with my baby still!!

5. Also the school's X'mas Party!

6. I will study hard for the Exam!!

That's all for the newsy!

Lastly, I will not update this week & this Sat is Rahman's Enlistment Party which will be held in a hotel & also our 3rd Anniversary! . No doubt, staying in Desmy place...... & Happy 19th Birthday to someone I knew..

For the blog song I sharing in this entry is amazing!! Beyonce's vocal is excellent & this is desmy's recommended song which I bet all girls will understand..

Gertemp baby & friends!

Bid Here

Adious

Love

Today, Im quite disappointed because the BKK trip with desmy is going to be cancelled. As his parents mentioned that the chaos there now will be more chaotic by Dec. So how I am celebrating my birthday now? I aint too sure, so lets wait & see.

Secondly, Im very sad cos I cant figured out the reasons why we are not talking much. Im not sure what is going on within him but I know I shouldnt add more fuel in him. In a relationship we are bound to quarrel so I should stay positive.

Subsequencely, I had a chat with Shine. He told me that I am probably not sure of what is love & love happens once only in a lifetime. Adding on he said he only loved once in his life, that was me. When you love & your partner breaks your heart, it aches, is tht a sign of love?

When your partner doesnt treat you well, but you dont want to leave him, is that love / reliance?

Then I started to question myself whether I really know what is love? & what is it? I dated 11 bloody times in my life plus still dating 1, but did I loved someone before or now? I am so confused, so I started to recall from 1 to 11 & the 12 who is desmy.

Zac is nonetheless the first love but it is counted more as puppy love.

Jameson is the first guy who broke my heart, I did begged him to stay but I should say it is reliance. I relied on him cos I needed love.

Prinsten is my secret love but it is more like admiring cos I didnt came cross such perfect guy.

The rest of the guys in the 10 should classified as like.

As for Shine, I am still going to insist that it is love & I am so sorry I broke the promise cos there werent signs from you so I thought you have moved on. I not trying to pin point any mistake but I just wan you to know if you had show me some sign to wait, things could be different.

Desmond is doubtless the love, I do love him from my mind, heart & soul. This song describes how I confused I am. I am so fearful that all this will come to a stop one day. I know even I have the strength & courage to continue, the question is do my partner has?

I am going to school at least to do some work, so less time to ponder the confusion. I recieved a msg today & felt kinda terrified, I cant help but figuring what lies within the heart & mind of one. I hope to finish my summary of Criminal Law this week!! Although Exam has been postponed a month back, it will not going to make me stop working hard!

女儿红 (给我一首歌的时间) by Jay Chow

[Phrase I]
The rain has fallen from the sky destructively poetic.
You say you don’t understand why we hold hands now.
I’ve dried myself off in silence, Regretfully rinsed off.
Considering that if I’ve done wrong, that is because I’m afraid to make mistakes again.
Being together is called a dream.
Having broken up is called pain.
Is it that the painful part is not having to complete the dream?
The aftermath of losing my way is something I can bear.
But where is the final exportation liking only then having.

[Chorus]
Can you give me the time to sing this song?
To make the tight embrace I give you becomes forever
In my heart, You do not need the fear to lose sleep.
If you want to forget I also can lose recalled.
Can you give me time to sing this song?
Only after hearing the end of the story then say “goodbye.”
The tears you've given me, lets keep it till the rainy day
Crossed line which you delimit, I've decided to have a brave ending

Repeat [Phrase I] & [Chorus]

You said I shouldn’t I shouldn’t shouldn’t have told you that I love you now.
How must I prove that I don’t have the strength to lie to you?
Oh please tell me whether can act of suspending calculates to the act of forsaking?
I only have the sweet memories of that one day.

[Chorus]

The End

Love my baby so much & Thanks to my friends
Bid Here

Adious

I am not ready to make nice (2)

Anyway, ignore the tagboard previous entries & I apologised for some inconsiderate bypasses coarse language but for the time being I cant remove it of evidences purposes.
Dont stop tagging as long as it is concerning entries matter. Dislike it, BLOCK it as I have mentioned in my introduction that I'm not ready to make nice; Indescrible but when you know me well, you either end up lovin' or loathin' me.=)

For my English, do CORRECT me if I have made any mistake, cos there is nothing to be shameful about. The only shameful thing is that when you dont know, you pretend that you do.

I LOVE to learn & Improve as I believed that "Humble is the way to success, being proud will lead to destruction"
Meanwhile, I urged all reader to be more OBJECTIVE in your opinion cos I am a HUMAN and human tend to make mistake!

To Fabian / Fabien, grow up & I seriously dont have the time to bother about you. If you need care & concerns, hire a NANNY!! Alright..

For the rest of the comments or critics, email me or message me thru my facebook.
P.S - Tribute(s) can inform me in any options or all=)

By the way, normal peoples' IQ ranges from 80 - 100 & geniuses range from 160 -200. My IQ is 115.

I AM SO BLESSED!!

I am very thankful to my friends truely to stood by me, especially 1 person who I need to affirm. Trust me, I felt so fortunate & without them I cannot imagine. Looking back on where we first met, I cannot escape & I cannot forget. I mean seriously, I used to have friends who backstabbed me, etc. Pretty glad that I have moved on since then, cos today I exprienced what TRUE FRIENDS mean. It means;

1. Tell you straight to the face your negative points

2. Take your happiness & sorrows as theirs

3. Will never ask / suggest you to do silly & stupid things

To my friends especially Ezra, Charles, Rachel & Grace; I will probably a lifetime to forget about you guys cos to forget about Grace the reflected image, Rachel comes it, same thing about Ezra & Charles. We all witnessed who sat at a corner in the class=)

To many whom may be concerned what happened in Mr Muralii's office, remains there. Muralii, Ezra & myself have a plan, for sure it will be executed. Therefore from today onwards, this goal is for Ezra & myself to shoot. I trust Mr Muralii & so does his assurance.

"Ownership" which he spent a precious lesson on it, that proves how precious it is to him. I thanked God for this lecturer to let me see how demonic and angelic he can be=)

I thank my Desmy for helping me all these while & I am delighted to see you. You promised to push me throught so you better mark your words. Love Love, see ya tml again!!

Forgive sounds good, forget Im not sure I could but they said time will heal everything so Im waiting

"Im not ready to make nice, cos Im not ready to back down. Im still mad as hell but I dont have time to go round & round & round. Plus its too late to make it right & I probably wouldnt if I could"

Lastly, I despises those so called gentry whom behaves like low-class bustard, they just irritates my eyesight

Love baby & I will update when I am free!!

Bid Here

Adious

A message to That Someone who mis-interpret me

As a sick & unwell person today, while recieving a very pleasant news with Channel Newsasia. I have also recieved news which are not very pleasant, on top of it, that makes a sick person untolerable to stand such nonsense which I will shortly come to that!

Now, Thank GOD for Senate Barrack Obama to be America 44th Elected-President!!

I personally have a thing for Africian-American but of course it is beside the point. It started off from the battle between Hillary & him, then I supported Hillary because I would love to see woman leading the soverign & also Africian-Americian can never get this far. After Hillary lost, well surprisingly that Amercia is changing. I followed up alot of Senator Obama Speech, through his eyes if I can see his sincerely, no doubt that the Amercian cant. Amercian are sick of all the gimmick, they are demanding actions now & the focus of the global economy is on Amercia today. Therefore it is pointless for a "not so good" party to sit in the House for another 4 years because it simply will not make a huge different. John McCain make that Concession Speech after the result was reveal, I will say that he is incredible for him being so calm & the love for his country is unselfish.

Well, I shall not talk much about my opinion cos some people who reads my blog today probably thinks that I am a bullshiter. Not surprisely, cos we are bound to face such people everyday in life. Plus, I am quite sure that this few days, this blog will have some unexpected readers whom will be reading my blog entries from either Narrow or Netural perspective. The reason for me typing this blog entry is to save me the troubles I MIGHT be facing tomorrow, so I might as well clear all the doubts today.

I am not extremely stupid even though I joked most of the time. However, never see me as a fool because you are not good enough to see what I am capable of. Right now, I just want to be an ordinary student in school who is tring to improve as much as I can to get my Diploma. So hate me or love me I dont care, but I dont want some lecturers to loathe me cos it will affect my studies. Well, even if they do it is not my bad, it is just that they probably not professional enough.

Anyway, this is a PERSONAL BLOG about my life, my thoughts & views, try not to read any sentence that I have wrote to me because I knew what I have written.

My first regard is about my title of my written scripts, "Mockery Exam". As my Criminal lecturer has wrote on my script that "You indeed make a mockery of yourself in this exam", which I really agree with her. Yet I hav to disagree with what my Common Law lecturer made a statement regarding this in the class, because I personally has no slight intention to mock at any of my mentor.

My second issue with regards to a sentence i blogged in my ytd's entry;

"ii) Studies - As I mentioned above, I am the one to blame for not studying enough & didnt hav a smoking r/s wit some of my lecturer, so who to blame.."

If someone took this seriously, that person is either gulity-minded or has nothing better to do to mis-interpret it. Why did I put "a smoking r/s with some of my lecturer" but not eating with them, it is because smoking is the only thing I dont do. All tht statement made is to say I did not spent enough time with my lecturers!! That is all, so I cannot understand why people are complicating things.

Moreover, I barely have close contact with them in my life, not in the past, not now & not even later in the future!! As a "Nobody" to THAT someone who had made a fuss out of my blog, I should say that I am very impressive to become "Somebody" now. May be THAT someone fancy to be infamous, Seriously I dont.

The last issue is regard to That someone & so called "Class Politics" which literally made me sick about it. People might see this as a mean one, by all means cos it is intolerable to see it happened, happens & happening again in a class less than half a year together.

I had a lunch session with That someone & 2 friends of mine not too long after the school just started, I vividly remember a sentence made by That someone about classmates disliking That someone, what I taught then was probably that class were quite extreme looking at thing. However, as I look back for today, the same thing is happening in my very own class. I didnt get involved with it, but my cliques & I saw things the way we are seeing. Well, now that involving ME & only ME in the picture which is very much hilarious because I have strictly nothing against anyone.

One thing you must know about me is that I dont like to keep grudges like you do or anyone else in the world, because it simply brings me Nowhere. Plus I have plenty more concerns to be bothered about and I am never jealous about who is the highest in class, etc. I dont set my own pace according to others pace, BECAUSE "Different people are meant to be / do different things and I definitely has a use for this world" so why would I bothered about your results?

My anger for this Mockery Exam is that I didnt start to revise earlier & harder enough. Moreover, I do know where I stand cos I do not stand proudly at where I am so why would I compared. You are standing nowhere near me, cos of your proudness, self-centeredness, wildness & all this has to be put a stop, speaking on behalf of our fellow classmate who has the same thoughts as me. Fundamental rule which I never taught by my mum like any other kids which is "You want to be respected, you jolly respect others"; never classified people.

People are bound to make mistakes, so do I. Correct yourself & move on, you can get a PHD in Law, so what when you know nothing about life. If you want to get a PHD or at least your LLB which is what I am looking forward to, stop wasting your time being a puppet. Put your creative thinking more to your studies rather than who is talking about you today & tml cos it will lead you to nowhere.

I could have spend my time resting & slightly more on my studies for my next exam to hold less disappointment for myself & my dad to take it. Nevermind anyway, so be it now. I do not wish be interviewed unneccessary for my personal good. If this much is put forward to you & you still have any problem, feel free to confront me or email me. If you want to apologise to me, save it=)

Those who are interested for my latest update, please refer to my previous entry..Thank you

God Bless You

Bid Here

Adious

My baby & me=)

I am quite sick today; sore eye lid & throat due to heatness & sadden heart due to the atrocious mockery results, so I decided to take a rest to refresh myself. I was thinking what good in my life to make my life brighter for today;

i) Family - So so, barely talk to my mum & didnt get to see my sisters for a while & monetary issues are greatly involved most of the time but I am quite immune about it, so nothing amazing..

ii) Studies - As I mentioned above, I am the one to blame for not studying enough & didnt hav a smoking r/s wit some of my lecturer, so who to blame..

iii) Friendship - I sorta hav the pool of people whom i can click with & I thanked them for being part of me today cos without them I probably still be a failure. Speaking of them could indeed brighten me a bit cos this bunch of people are the one i truely named them as close FRIENDS, & this time I have faith with my choice..

Ezra, Charles, Rachel, Grace, Tracy & Lydia shares the same goals, how I wished some of us get chosen to the same University in England can at least warm my heart in that cold country. I shall not think so far now cos I really need to buck up alot to choose a University there. & my baby is here to kick my ass through too!!

This blog song, I used to dedicate to a person who was very dear to me it has been a while I actually feel happy listening to it. May be it is because I dont feel a slight pain in my heart, or I have forget the love for her. Anyway, I sang this song happily to him cos he has really been a true friend of mine, not just because I am deeply in love wit him..

Thank you you Desmond Choo for loving me. We celebrated his significant birthday at his place, & every minute with him melts my heart. Although there are times where we argued etc, but almost nothing can destroy our love; not even time. The slideshows will show you how happy i hav been for the past one month

The Formula One 2008

Southern Ridge Walk

These pictures were taken by Chrissie for her assisgment with Wayne & Desmy resting at Cafe Delma at Sentosa

This is his birthday celebration at his garden. I made him a cake & all his close friends

Seletar Country Club lovebird Celebration

Well, I think the pictures are according to the chroniclogical.. Anyway, I didnt study for the whole day cos I am quite sick..eaten my medical, drink my herbal tea & sour plum (which is very sour).

This year, I am not goin to celebrate my birthday in town. Desmond & myself are going to Bangkok for a 4D 3N Free & Easy trip, which both of us are very excited!! So I am going to study hard before the trip comes for my trip sponorship & for the good grades!!! haha..

I miss my baby & friends (Thanks for Charles's disturb & concern)
Bid Here
Adious