Do you wonder how fast we grew, growing and grows? One has a sudden brainstorm and certainly beautiful to share with you guys. Sandral is twenty, six months and twenty-eight years old today and do you think she changes rapidly as she aged as well? Are the changes good or bad, etc? These questions just pops out today, like some bubbles (easily broken yet unforgettable).
Meanwhile one was doing what one supposed to do, at the same time one was doing a recount in my brain regarding myself. It is so amazing that our brain can really function so well. The phrase “Life will be better if you could just use your goddamn brain” is totally honest although it sounds disturbing. One is sure that my brain could not function better when one was a toddler than how it is now; SO WE AGED TO GROW WISER! There is no “SUPPOSEDLY” because we are going to grow wiser. The difference between many is time; some will have to learn it fast, some slow, some learnt but threw it away because it is difficulty yet some are able to uphold these learning. In my younger days, my dad was very strict on me and taught me all sort of things; moral values, well-mannered and etc. Yet, there is a point of time one actually left all that one learnt in the safe. If one did not try to recall today, it will probably be locked forever too.
One cannot help but need to compare myself as far as one can recall who I was. The furthest one can conclude is when one was five, was a quiet girl and only speaks to one boy named Fabian (could not remember his last name) and there was another boy who loves to disturb me. The graduation performance was loved by a pool of crowd. Then one proceed to primary school, year one and two memories were very vague. Year three, one was in a new environment and was very tomboy-ish! One had made a couple of cool friends mostly guys and run around during every recess time. Year five, made some girlfriends and personally one thinks we were quite close and good together. One also discovered that one actually fancied one of her good friends but never dared to confess at all. Last year of primary school, one then realized that she is really popular amongst guys unfortunately not too close to girls. Till here, one was very naïve, kind, funny, stupid, cheerful and most importantly young.
One thinks that secondary school is the point where one changes rapidly because one learnt about feelings; what is like, what is dislike, what is the line between helpful and busybody, what is betrayal, what is hatred and etc. The four years was the best of my life at a point of time as one learnt how to trust, take and give love. Yet, the same time one learnt that we cannot trust and be dependent other forever. Also, one thought that she was in love and dreamt that he is her prince charming but it is pure admiration. All and all disappeared when one was hit with reality, this is the starting point of my changes.
One was so determined to change for the better; one paid a huge price for all this. The exchange of my friends, innocence, youth, kindness and myself were as good as dead, nevertheless one really does well till here. No doubt there are cons to my changes, one is damn practical, economical, straightforward and cunning compared to that young naïve girl.
“What will be, will be” shows us the beauty of life, did it? One highly doubts that one could make it in life as much as many want me to. Honestly, one was a caterpillar which did not know that it can actually transform to a butterfly. Therefore, all we have to do is to do the best we could and the good will come to you eventually.
Btw, I am into High Society music esp Hymnes. My dearest friends, just put your best in the exam and leave the rest to rest! I will pray and wait for you guys to rejoin the world (me)!
Bid here,
Sandral Owin
