저에게 축 생일 !

This year, it is indeed a special year where I truely felt that I am bliss. Thinking back, I changed to really appreciates small / tiny stuff, cry much more even for the slightly happy things in life, lost count with those smil on my face, prayed for forgiveness every single day and feels truely bliss. Also enjoy the song whilst reading this lengthy entry=)

I went to a talk with Mrs Chong last month, he spoke about destiny and etc. He sorted my thoughts and truely open me up. I didnt go there to look for an answer to a particular question and yet I was enlighted. What truely got me is that the topic on Causes and Consequences. For that, I prepared for all the consequences that I am needed to face for all the bad deeds I done.

You might start to wonder, what about the good things? Well, sadly most of the goodness you've done will get the consequences instantly (Think about it yourself). There is ONE good thing that I did for myself in this entire 20 years (I mentioned it before & I need to mention it again) - Studying law. The consequence that I gotten is meeting friends, and for that I am very very thankful already. Second good thing I have done is a right clique; I can never forget the very first day of school, sitting beside Tracy and behide us are Grace and Rachel. The three of them are quite different from me due to the things I exposed and today we click perfectly together still.

And guess what else, IF I didnt meet them on tht very day I wouldnt imagine the consequences. Together with them, I studied, not say hard but I did put in my Heart, and met nice friends and formed a clique too. See, we are all ONE Person who needed to carry out plentiful of roles. Like myself, I am not a good daughter but I am pretty good in every other roles that I am involved. So, we are people with many many flaws and got together in such a big group. Christ, it aint easy but we are did/doing and will do a good job together.

Once, I was disappointed with Friendship which is sadly the only ship I could count on because my Kinship sank way before I could admit that and Relationship is not stable facing the big sea. Nevertheless, we all need love to somehow get thing settle. When love is involved, the courage plays the biggest role and following by trust. I stood firm with my decisions and really really found great and funny people whom I know that I could count on. With this one and only Sandral Owin's Heart, I am very very thankful on this very day to:

1. People who help me by accompanying me thru the storms I faced; like the real help and God forbids me to forget what happened in the past;

2. People who forgo me in the past and make me a tough person today;

3. People whom came / come /coming across all woks of life and helping me by fate and faith;

4. People who gave me joy instead of I giving them, really really treasure all my heart and I pray for them on a regular basis:

a) Rachel (I know how much you wish to be here)

b) Grace (Thanks for everything yesterday and you did an amazing planning)

c) Tracy (Stop falling sick and start to be stronger physical)

d) Stephenie (Very appreciated for your physical and mental encouragement, I still keeping the paper you wrote for me)

e) Lydia (You are such a whinner and think positively and stronger. With all your flaws I still love you alot)

f) Kayyathiri (You are a nice nice friend and fan of mine)

g) Sarah (I also sense you close although you are so far away)

h) Ezra (The implusive protector of mine and given me joy in alot of ways)

i) Charles (I am grateful that you have been there always)

j) Desmond (Thank you for your every every everything you gave me)

k) Mrs Chong (Being with you, I feel that I have a family member and stay healthy)

As for kinship, I am speechless and I have assigned a task to complete before the end of my life. Trust me, I am tough and will be tougher enough to overcome it. Since, I have been different and came to where I am standing. To be more extreme, it is something that I will achieve so anticipate for that day to come.

Regarding myself and future, I promised myself to complete my LLB in Law by 2013 latest with a Second Upper Honours. Pray, Play and Participate Well for Everything and Anything. As for the rest, I can only look forward to and there is nothing else for me to do until then. Some says "Expected the Unexpected" yet again "The more you expecting, the more the disappointment" so JUST LIVE YOUR LIFE.

What else can I say, I told myself that "Well, I have a bunch of good friends and they WILL wish me and WONT forget my birthday even if they DIDNT asked me out!". The truth is I should trust my six sense & had a great celebration yesterday, all thanks to them! Honestly, I am so touched and thankful for everything yesterday. I love you each and everyone of you. Hey, I will cry if you all tries to forget my 21st!!

p.s My Lawyer bought me Royce Chocolate, so sweet!

I am flying to BKK tomorrow like FINALLY and touching down on Thursday Morning

~ So Excited and Wee~~

18 December 2009 - Xmas Gathering=) Until then we shall see one another again.

Love all of you

Thank you

Bid Here

See you

Adious

Your Faithfully,

Sandral Owin

Doesnt Mean Anything

Hi, It is my bad, didnt blog for quite long. Yeah, was pondering and sorting about life and stuff. Of cos, not forgetting about my workload. Let me share with you this beautiful song and I will blog tml since I am grounded on my BIG DAY=)

Love You,

Sandral Owin

Deary Life

I am not bothered about anything right now as I typed this blog, in fact I am very calm. My Grandmother's husband just passed away, what really sadden me is her. I often wondered why she has to lead such a sad life but she is a strong woman. All her children thinks that they are better than her in a lot of aspect and they are simply wrong. She might be silly at time to feeds her son who is the age of 45 year old but that is because she felt guilty then she wasnt able to give them a good life. I started my blog with "Have you ever tried to be in my shoes?" for a purpose. It does not takes a genuis to do this; understanding others. However, many simply refuses to even try. All they know is to grumble, feel sad over their life and looking for people to take some pity on them. What hurts me badly is that I, over my 19 years never seen or hear my grandmother grumble about her life; seeing 2 husband passed away and needed to bring up all her child. So who are you to grumble?

Hence, when I pray for her to God. I asked him to watch over us & help me to watch over her. I want her to be there when I soar like an eagle most because I dont want to live my life with regrets. She is my Dear Mother, a true example of a Mum. Trust me, I have no mercy to my own so-called mother when she step on my back.

Dear Rach, thank you for this wonderful song although I said to you that "this song is not meant for me". I would like to get this sentence back because I really have a wonderful grandmother and dad. I survived so long and i will survive as long as I need to because of them. I cannot be bothered about others' eyes, they have a choice as to how they look at me and I made the choice at the point I want to change. This is all about me at this point of time, although the thought of giving up came pass me the other day. That is not going to happen, to grow and soar is all I am concerned of, because it came to my realisation of ONE THING!!

I am very enriched now, other than studying for my exam the only thing I love most is read. I am excited over able to purchase 'Men in white'. Also, Screw the system here & it is all crap & bullshit. Government in general are bulls******* and selfish in nature, hence never trust a politican too much.

Lastly, I will have a nice weekend today although work is not too good today. I misses my friends a lot and will type the list of books to buy for me for my BURSTDAY. haha, thanks huh peeps!! We are bbq-ing later, yeahness!!

I love my beloved friends & baby.

Bid Here

Adious

Blissful

I am still in my happy dream, I going to receive my Dip in Law in no time!! I am so thrilled because I am very proud of myself coming this far for this result. I concerned about the process of achieving my goal not just achieving the goal. I fail my Public Law but the blessing thing is I have a second chance. I am so thankful as God reminded me that I have to have faith in yourself before he comes to give me more. Perhaps, this is the reason I make it thru. I cried for happy tears as I peek my results.

My result was not fantastic but it is sufficient enough. I cannot make it to UK but two of my cliques will bring my share there first, & study to the best. G8 was a success, zero failure & it is a blessing. I sure Lydia receive the best 21st pressie from God. Now, I am planning meanwhile I will retake this subject well & work first. Apart from having God & a good team by my side, I have one more person to thank.

"IF you have a Father like mine, do Praise & Pray to him a lot!!"
"If you have friends like mine, do Cherish & Treasure them a lot"

Desmond, I really appreciate your presence in very situation I met with. Let it be Happiness, Sorrow, Anger or Bitterness, you are here for him duly & what more I can asked from you. This is a song for you, leave aside the sad part because is not within our concerns. As much as my friend mentioned this to me that I have a very wonderful boyfriend, yet I have to agree with them. I love the ONE YEAR Anniversary Celebration, thank you. I been to Singapore Zoo too many time & this time is the most fruitful one. I may ask for too much from you at time so thankful of your patient. I have a taste of perfection & you are the ripest apple I pick from the tree so it fully explain why you are so sweet. My journal to you is a token & start of our journey together, ily!!

"If you have a Boyfriend like mine, Do Cherish & Love him a lot!!!"

Upcoming Plans: Study, Work, Enjoy, Love and Loved!!

Bid Here
Adious

You raised me up

Dear Lord,

Perhaps, I am very greedy but this is what I wanted badly; to keep this moment with you & everything especially good grades for my & my cliques results.

Thank you for giving me almost everything. My good & my bad side that makes me who I am for you & people around me to love me & hate me. Although I hate to be born in this hectic world & you shown me light throughout my pathway. Father, please be with me regardless my result is going to be good or bad, promise you will be there with me till the very very end.

Thank you, Lord & in Jesus's name I pray, Amen.

Thank you my G8

Shan, It is so nice to see you

Zac, you are always remembered

Last but not least, my lovely baby=)

Bid Here

Adious

Everything

Hey, Life is fine; Busy and exciting=) Time really passes fast, my greatest fears will be arriving in no time. I only has two University reply & they are unreachable conditions. I guessed now I only can pray for the best.

I am not attending school at all but I continues to learn from all walks of life. I read & listen in my firm, I learn whilst walking, I feel when I am reading. Currently, I am reading my 8th book!!

I successfully slim down 6kg now, very healthy life but I am still fat=( HAHA..
Apart from that, I am totally in love with Shining Inheritance & left with 2 more episode!! It is the plain script which attracts me in & out.

I miss my cliques & missing them a lot. Thus, I am looking for to next Sun & 15 Aug especially!! The response is very good & anticipating. I am awaiting for the pictures with every single one=)

My baby and I 11th month Anniversary=) I am so in love wit you & thank you for everything you given me. When I am angry, you give in to me. When I am sad, you cheered me up. I learn Korean, you listen my korean songs with me. Life is lifeless without you.

I am going to work hard to finish reading "Mao & China"; the toughest book I ever read.

I am finally taking my BTT!
I wan to go for a short trip away from Singapore!!
I wan to go Sentosa!!
I wan to be bliss like this as long as possible.

Bid Here
Adious

Hyper Daddy and Daughter

I wanted to blog!! When I played a good song (my blog song) & my daddy started his concert. Thus I am disturb!! but it was fun. Honestly, it is not cos M.J cos I playing this song. I am not a hypocrite & I dislike him though he is a King of Pop. I really enjoy this song released in 1985, beautiful lyrics so let start giving.

To recruit in TKQP is mere lucky, to work with my 2 kind lawyer is a gift, & to learn from them is a blessing. God no doubt loves me alot, & I gotten too much from him. No longer know how to reject but learn to accept his arrangements. I prayed for an extra opportunity & it came instantly; Rajah & Tann called me for interview. I am curious and honoured about the offer, not proud yet.=)

I wrote an essay on Opportunity two friday's ago, so I must do as what I have written.To cherish opportunity and choose the best. I thanked God always giving me the best he can, to me it is truely most wonderful. I am prepared to die anytime without regrets. I have learnt the most difficult lessons in life; to learn, love, hate, forgive and forget & all of this comes not easy at all.

It is not about studies all the time & maybe I learnt more than alot of degree holders does. I see a man realising it after living to his 70s (on his deathbed), I want to live nothing that make me regrets slightly in any point of my point. Apart from being successful, I want to be me. Being myself is being part of the world. I never change my blog picture for a message that many yet to do & Congrats to those who mastered it. This message is very simple & easy but often tough when comes to doing, that is why saddness exist.

I am not a saint & I tried to "put myself on her shoes before" but I am wore out, so I stopped. Before we are angry of someone, think of it. Before we are sad, think of it. Before we are nervous, think hard. Simple, I am a racial but I am very nice to my friends. I carry no feeling for those who dont deserve me & they shall watch me to suceed. I behave like what I am & I am perfectly well with it.

I slimmed down 5.5kg !! & 4.5kg more to go, my curved shape & I am proud of it. I worked till have no time to eat, tht is the beauty in a law firm. The pantry aunties and pupilages are very nice to me, need not mentioned my lawyers.=) My desmond started school & life has been great. I only hope his train will steadily, be it whether it is fast or slow. He is working on weekends till 26 July.

Again, I thanked God for my G8!! This sat, I shall enjoy their accompany at Rach's place. Singing & Mj, nothing sound more attractive than this. Sunday, I will be knitting and reading book. August is drawing near & I could hear the death bell and each day I can only pray. I am going to do voluntary work as what I have promised myself on 31 Dec 2000.

I love my Grandma, Dad, Youngest sis, fei fei, Des, his family & my dearest friends.

Bid Here

Adious

A little

I am exhausted and no longer interested with why God sent us down to experience hardship. It is not gurantee that we can meet him after life, so why am I trying so hard to please God, everyone around me & myself? I desiped to look like a joker because I believed in God that he did not make me as one. Yet again, it is very difficult to convince myself that. I hope and pray he will put all this to an end.

Perhaps, I am his special child but I unable to take this pain anymore. Now I not sure am I still fit to be called your child, sinned too much that I cannot forgive myself in this lifetime. It is time that I should stop asking for forgiveness. I am not a whinner usually but I cannot help myself not to be one now.

Here I am trying hard to improve myself but nothing seem to work well for me. I lived with agony for 20 years & blowing out very soon. It is painful to live a life like mine, I only have the share of being envious of all good mom & children relationship!! I feel totally cool without one or if I really have one, all I am asking is a normal mum.

My heart was bleeding whilst typing this but no longer will. I tried but you never know at least a little nor you will ever look at me, so now it does not matter. I am not declaring a war, but if you want to be safe what I am suggesting is to leave me alone. I am not that girl who was afraid of you or care that you are my mum. I will do things my ways and that wont include you at all. I wont disowns and I am waiting for you to disown me. Leave no inheritance for me because I wants to owe you the bare minimum.

If the people here who are reading this wants to see me as heartless & cruel, so be it. I no longer bothered, this is the life I am happy with. A life with my dad, my youngest sister & only brother. These are the only kins who I will do everything for them. This song is for myself & I will look back if I am missing myself too much. My plan will still works for myself, I am not giving up to be myself.

I wonder how is Joyce doing in Swizzy, missing those times we talking about cheeky stuffs. Aunty Sue contacted me thru email now!! G8 are very well, we will be meeting for Harry Potter & Bbq soon, I promised. Zach & I made a pact recently which is to date each other one more time before we marry. My Des is very busy with his work and same goes to me after tml.

Apart from the issue at home, I was doing not too bad for the past 3 weeks. I was finding peace sometimes I am able to do so but at times I just cannot. I addicted to Shining Inheritance, Harpers' Island, Safari, Resturant City & Exercising!! My korean is improving bits by bits.

Basically, tht is all but the nusiance thing is still around! I am leaving to Des place soon=)

Watch me fly, Losers!!

감사합니다!

안녕!

사랑

안녕하세요!!

Korean is not simple to type & learning an extra language is not easy at all. There, of course, if things are simple what is there exciting about life?

EXAMS is over but I'm not happy at all, the thoughts of death bells makes me nervous. No wonder waiting is painful at times, worst is that you are waiting while carrying hopes. I looking forward to work everyday cos it keeps me very busy. Things at home are getting out of control but I am not going to be bothered as I am sure where I belong.

With regards to myself, I am happy and no worries, pals I am cool still. I've overcome big waves and hence small tiny waves are unable to drown me, on top of that I able to swim. Those of you who are waiting for the exam, I am praying & prays hard for our success. I used the past one week to find back the old me before going back to study. The girl who cares alot about life & greedy to learn more, I am very glad to found her again. She wants to distant herself from the world to find some peace. I am not supposed to be at home today but I am in great pain. Bloody menses driving me insane, honestly I think I can only blame myself for that because the past few months it didnt come much due to stress etc. Now, it is all coming back to me which I am happy cos it is telling me my body is healthy but PAIN!!

Basically, I finished watching the movies and shows that I wanted to watch. The day of my last paper, we rushed down to tampines to watch Angels & Demons. I am the only one who read the book & I am very satisfied of the movie because Da Vinci's movie sucks compared to the book. On the next day, I brought my pals (Grace, Lydia & Rach) & my boy for a tracking at Anderson Waves. There & then, for the very rare time I lost my sense of direction for the first 2 hours and led them beating around the bushes. All the more to believe, that our clique needs to recuite more men. Those kind souls didnt blamed me for all of that which I am very guilty about.

Thanks to some comments in my tagboard, I am exercising regularly nowadays. Do congrats me for slimming down & to my friends do not be very bothered about it. Allow me to handle it, those people as we all know they basically cannot suceed in everything except being an nuisance so let us be more caring for this kind of low IQ & EQ retards. I mean, we obviously knows that they can think but foolishly chose not to & really they are THE worst of kind of all. In August, we will meet to recieve the result even if I cannot do well still I managed to slim down is another achievement. OMG, I forgot that I'm not meeting THE retard cos she/he didnt have the courage to take the exam and not forgetting being too rich too.

Back to the main reason why I am posting this entry today. I have been watch some korean show. A brainstorm came into my mind whilst chatting with Zherui about love. This lucky man is attached too & spending good times in Germany slipping beer. It is because he is smart enough to recieve this intership in his college in the States.

Whilst chatting with him about love & relationship, I suddenly remeber what Shine told me before that I have never love someone before. Well, he could be true but I denied it then when he told me. Thus I bringing this question up for myself now.

"Have you ever love someone before?"

잠깐만요! Before considering this question, it is my duty to make sure you understand that the love I am referring to is not to be mix up with the habit or reliance on your parents, siblings & friends. Honestly, alot of people cannot rationally classfied it cos they mistaken that love from another is a much in one's life just like or even more important like love from family. I wont say I am able to but I have not mix them up together. As for some people, they loves to be loved & thinking that is love. Trust me that is not love & if your dictionary carries puppy love, allow me to correct you that there is no such love. Good, now the questions & impression from you is 'well well well, so what kind of love you suggesting as you speak with confidence with your nonsense' We, individual, live as human & often left the most simple & easy question to be answer.

"What is love?"

The answer is very subjective, we all feel & understand love in different ways as according to our characters. after watching a korean movie 'The Naked Kitchen' I started to understand. If you seriously considered the question you might find that you are confused which means you are on the right track. The most important thing is the thought process & the reason why I thinking too rational. Often then not, love is not very rational. Now, I know what & how is love. I love Desmond now is what that matter most to me.

Thank you, Baby. Grace too, for contributing some ideas. I am in love with this song 'Dance with my father again' & whilst listening to this song my dad danced with me. Very wise choice that my Dad & Des are studying now=) upgrade & asorb more knowledge.

Bid Here

Adious

안녕!

Beautiful President

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

I look up to him as the greatest leader at all time, as much as MM Lee but better!! Being a wise man, he speaks like one.. Too much sincerely & hence making his words unforgettable. Thank you President Obama!!

하나님께 영광을 , you give me faith cos you believe & I'm everything I'm because you love me

Adious

Yearning Heart

I am much better now & apologised for making those who cares about me to worry for me. After all what's done is done, although very bothered & scared. I am sure I not going to do good & get to good University in UK now, but being able to go there & start afresh is a bonus to me.

Indeed, too many things are happening around me, it is very annoying & distracting. However so, life has to move on. I am going to move faster & better=) To people who dont appreciate the truth, really I wouldnt be bothered. I am tired of staying with dummies & I doing everything in my means not to!! I couldnt fall asleep ytd after chatting with a secondary school friend; not too close but had a crush on him before. He given me a question, a tough one & he is still a debater!!

The conversation goes like this & started off by Man U!! ;

[Me]: I think it is true to aim for the moon & even if I fail I will for on the stars!

[Him]: I still think you aiming too high, if law is your moon, what is your stars? Have you thought about it?

[Me]: Hmm, good thought & I will start thinking!

This question haunts me the whole night & I finally found the answer. Honestly, all this while (past one year or so) it seem like a dream to me. A dream which is too beautiful to be true, & often I asked myself was I being not realistic enough? I have the courage to study what I always wanted, I am enjoying it. That is the thing, I will do anything & everything for it because I am driven. Dreams doesnt come this far, I, myself, make things come this far. Reading a thousand pages of Book is not a lovable thing, but I love it. I fell in love with it than I ever fall for any guys.

Unfortunately, MY STARS WILL STILL BE LAW!! Miser, you are right that if others have done it, I could. The fact is I am not working hard enough. I will not heel your advice to do any other things, because law is something I am coping good at & I will do well in the future. Being realistic is one good thing but I believed I able to push myself to a limit. Studying in the middle of the night is a joke & only jokers will do it. I am very willing to be that joker no 1!! If I am failing, I will re-take till I pass, just like how I did for my English & I never a mockery since then. I have a goals in life that I want to fulfil, no matter how many turns & circle I have to make, I will make it there.

Miser, if you dont like your course, change it now!! Trust me, do something you like & you will do it good in time to come. Please, stop bahaving like a chinese!! Speak nicely & praise when you want to!! Chinese always think that acting cool is very cool, that is why you are so bad with love!! You should learn from more from Cauasians, 그렇죠 (alright)?

To my excellent friends & love, I couldnt have come this far without you. I was told that I am able to make you guys smile, but little that you know, I smiled because I have each & everyone of you. I start to believe in friends, who are honest, straightforward, matured & beautiful in own every own way, at times we argues & get mad but we are very sincere, at least that what I think. So, on Firday my tickets for Angels & Demon will be on you guys!! *Wink*

Boyfriend, boyfriend, Thanks for being for patience throughout this tough period of my time. When my faith & belief is challenged, you challenged me=) I changed; I will only have 2 instead of 7=) You & Kim Hyun Joong, 알았 (okie)! I am going crazy over KHJ & I am determined to learn Korean when I start University!! I am dying & meeting him is my goal too!! Girls, you aint my match, shoo shoo!! Haha, obssessive now for an 우상 (idol).

Haha..I finished watching BOF ytd, studied very little but good thing is I've done some of my revision of Common Law & Contract Law. After my exam, I have to take 2 more test & my driving licence too=) I am going to work too; I hate to slack meanwhile. I earn $$ & determine to silm down more!! Most of the time, I am drinking tea now & quit eating!! Now I am still goin to study right away, this is a song from BOF which I am totally in love for it as for now!! Yearning Heart has Pretty Lyrics & driving me crazy, click to hear out the whole song!!

내 하나의 사랑, 죄송합니다 와 고맙습니다! (My loves one, Thank you & Sorry)

생일 축하합니다, fei fei (Jun Long)

Bless you

Adious

TaTa

Sandral's Wish

I think this could be the difficult time in life, i never felt so miserable in life. Having no faith in life, unable to figure out my purpose of living, the future looks dim. I gave up my lavish lifestyle and jus want to be myself, apparently it is so tough. I approached an old firend to chat and i believed that she is no longer here for me anymore.

Everything I am facing at this point of time is quite a big blow for me. No matter how I tell myself to calm down and stop dwelling about it, makes me look so stupid to smile everyday & thinks that nothing is wrong wit my life or consistently tell myself "Is okie, God will help you".

I dislike myself, my life, my relationship and family. You know why? I find myself very foolish to do so many thing yet nobody sees it. Apparently, people thought that whatever things I have done or said is bad, dumb & stupid. People also like to hear the opposite stuff I said, most of the time what I said is true. I tried making my life live as fulliest and happier as I can, everything seem so different from what I plan and think. Am I the dumb one because I am going to be convinced that I am!! Because I am the one who cares about things, looking like a FOOL. I am serious that I am not whinning.

My family treats me like a STRANGER, except for my dad cos he is busy working. But have you guys thought of the future ahead, only knows how to talk & talk without brain. My boyfriend likes to enjoy his own life and leaves everything to the very last minute to do. I think he should ask himself a very simple question, wht have you achieve in life for you to enjoy so much in life?

Why cannot you guys be more responsible for your own life, not for me but yourselves? Think of doing something great and good and start doing it, stop all your planning!! Start doing!! I can plan and plan to be a lawyer too, keep planning and do nothing! Life doesnt work like tht. Age is not a matter, I was matured to behave as an adult when I was 15!! I doubt some adults are sure of who they are as compared to me.

It is going to be about myself, my rules & me!! I knew & know what I want in life, clearer than anyone! I never dream, and work hard and harder for it. I dont want anything to screw up, I want people who are organised and determined to surround. I cannot stand stupid, ignorant, arrogant and self-centered people in my life anymore. I have no much time to waste on you people. I cannot give up now cos I given too much and hence I need to more on.

I am afraid that my grade will not be good enough to go UK.

I am afraid that I cannot leave Singapore.

I am afraid that I cannot manage life anyone.

I am afraid that God is not here for me at this point of time.

I am afraid that I will break down any moment.

I am afraid to be so afraid.

I am afraid that life is fooling me.

I am afraid of being me.

I am afraid of the future.

I am afraid to give up now.

I am afraid that I meeting my weakest point of my life now.

I am afraid that I have to love only myself now.

I am afraid to lose anything good in my life.

I am afraid to be the last, so sorry that I am going to be the best.

I am afraid that I cannot allow all this bad thing to happen.

My fear will be overcome cos I am awared of all and do everything to prevent it. Today, I could tell who are sincere to me in life and i am very grateful to them. I met 2 girl who is very amazing and dear to me last year and my fei fei who I have neglected her for some time. Thanks for talking to me and maybe, it is fated for me to face so much test in life. So I will face it all myself if no one is facing wit me and leave this place!

I love this song because it sounded alot like me, as though it is singing to me ad telling me I am too right about life. It is called Sophia's Wish and too similiar like Sandral's Wish. Let me translate the song to English, might not be good so please bear wit it.

Bid Here and Take Care!!

蘇菲亞的願望

(Listen to the full song - http://www.imeem.com/bluebery/music/R3gSgG4L/js-sophia-de-yuan-wang)

Sophia left her family to search for an unachievable dream.

Bidded from her lovig parents and the familiar villiage.

Sophia is not a speaker and has a very different concept about the world.

Noone could really understand her and perhaps she might find her use in that dream city of hers.

Forgive her, as she has only a wish like every other kids. It is really that hard?

How much more does she needs to sacrifice to fufil her wish?

In this jorney, has only a wish with her in the baggage.

Perhaps she is struggling or frightened throughout the journey.

It does not really matter much to her because the next step could be heaven.

There is no stars in this gleaming city, and out of sudden her tears drop.

The world is too small compared to her deam, maybe the doctrine of life is a cruel joke.

Sophia cut away her long hair, powdered and recovered her purity.

She kept convincing herself that is her, although she cannot even recognise her own herself. After all, her situation is still not so bad.

They told her that in process of fulfilling your dream is bound to lose some of yourself.

She questioned herself in front of the mirror and asked whether is this really what she is asking for.

Try to comfort her as you probably have faced or facing the similiar problem before

In this jorney, has only a wish with her in the baggage.

Perhaps she is struggling or frightened throughout the journey.

It does not really matter much to her because the next step could be heaven.

There is no stars in this gleaming city, and out of sudden her tears drop.

The doctine of life is never a joke.

Be it whether the world is small or dream is big, she is the still the same old her.

In the arms of the angels

I'm making use of my 15min break before the partial studying & Harpers' Island time to blog. So sorry, my blog has been relatively in the sickbed for long. I not in the sickbed though, was trying hard to work very hard. Exam is drawing near, every effort will be counted for sure.

I'm so thankful for everything I have, tell you why cos I have done some most beautiful thing during my blog's sickbed time. First, Good Firday indeed changed me, I make sure that I try to own a daily prayer. Secondly, I asked God to give me motivation and courage to continue during this very turmoil time. Thirdly, I really really owes my dad, des, his family and my friends alot. Forthly, those movies which make me happy and enjoyed myself in the cinema=) Next up, I thank God for my books and plenty & limited time toward the exam.

Trust me, I will fly high so high that I cannot help but peep down to earth=) and I am starting to believed that I meant to be so different from others whom I had known.

I not acting holy, I am just giving thanks..I am loving Angel by Sarah McLachlan

Please visit Dareius blog if feasible and share your food thoughts, thanks -http://smellmyfood.blogspot.com

Just those few people could melt my lil frozen heart!!

I miss Hui Shan and Yong An too=)

Thanks my baby love, for the relaxing day in the CC=) Happy 8th month Anniversary to you!

Bid Here and may you will find some comfort here=)

Adious

Simple things in Life

It has been a while, Exam are coming here in 8 weeks' time. The preparation is tough, not yet done, to be contiuned, of course Insufficient. It is so important for me, something which can motivate me to go very very far. At this point, I learnt that it is no point being smart because is only that far it can bring you. With hardwork, it really bring you further.

I want to cry one more time when I get back my contract law, in fact for all my subjects.

I want to Shed those happy tears again in August.

I have been very strict wit myself & it is a wrong way for me to learn, so disappointed wit myself. It seem like I've lost my principles and human instinct; behaving like an animal who is fighting for food when I already have my own share. Trying to be perfect yet I know how unperfect i am. A 'me' where I never seen before and wishes that I wont be seeing again.

Around me, there are good people who I cares about, in the very same time they care about me too. It will be a letdown to breakdown and give up now. It is a pathway God has chosen for me to exprience toughness and enjoy sweetness in the same time, lastly to test me again. I must not fail him, not again.

I have eventful times too;

1. Watched movie - Coming soon with baby and Jansen, - Suspect X with Grace, Tracy, Rach and Ezra.

2. Cable Care and Sushi tei-ing with Grace, Tracy, Rach and Ezra.

3. Accompanied baby to his soccer tournament.

4. American Idol time=)

Dont ask why my life is always revoluting around them because they bothered to care about me and you dont!! It is so simple and I am so cool with it, dont make life difficult for everybody, and since chances are high that I am going to be away for the next 3 years. Trust me, you will be forgotten without pain as I seen the right way to live, betrayal, hurted, loved by all sort of people. I take it very lightly, wit no hard feeling=)

I was lighten up after watching Mall Cop wit myself (which was the original plan but I reckoned why I started buzzing up people) and an ad-hoc massage and herbal sauna treatment where I was enlighten by the massager with the History of China and life. There is the point I found myself back.

Wee, I am doing work wit Rachel daily and knowing that Grace is working hard in Group 2 too!! My wish to go overseas wit my baby is always spoilt by some vitating factors=( Hopefully the Kukup Trip will be going sucessfully.

Baby, can you please upload the pictures!! I am lossing my patience seriously. It is pointless and saddening when you planned something and it is not carried out. Sleeping / Napping in the afternoon and morning is not the way I wan to spend my weekends, so I hope you can understand cos the weekends I gave to you is very important. We can use it to do alot of things, but not sleeping anymore. I still love you so so so so so so much.

This 8 weeks I am going to be truely busy with exam and preparation of my future. Date me out now if you want because I will be even busier after May and Sept I might be going away from Singapore for 3 good year=) However I will make sure to have fun too, to improve that I have a good start is tomorrow, my baby is bringing me to Sentosa! Tuesday, I am meeting Hui Shan after so long for dinner. Now, I have 8 hours to study before I head to baby's place.

Keep everything simple, even your mind and able to live an exciting life

Take care

Bid Here

Adious

Untitled

I cannot think of a blog name today so I named it "untitled". I am physically unwell=( it is a sudden slowdown in my body cos she was trying to tell me to go slowly for the past few weeks but I painly didnt take her advice. So sorry to myself, I promising her to take a break from the outside world for a day. Sometimes that is why observing our surroundings is so important hence I am staying at home to study & blog but jus for a short while.

For the past few weeks, I am blessed with happiness from my baby, my cliques, my fei fei & daddy. Although there are tons of decisions to be make in my life, happiness is what it kept me alive. As I am finishing my diploma in May, I have to make choices to go where for my studies. First of all, I am going to study hard to do well in my diploma in Law.

We are going to spilt up very soon, too soon that I dont want to think about it. Ytd, we plan to buy a mansion in New Zeland & each of us got to come up with $10 million. I believed this dream will be filful after we complete our studies & become a lawyer who works & save very hard so it is my duty to walk towards this goal.

In life, the first thing you must do is knowing yourself & principles then plan your life with focus. You might think that I am talking shit now, but little you know what will happen next. An incident which happened in my Secondary School day, where a girl in my class was having heaty arugement & she was mocking at me / my english. Today the only thing I remember telling her is "See who'll make the last laugh", although I have not make my name yet but I made that promise to myself. Thank you to those who look down at me & now take a good look at yourself.

I might be proud in your eyes but I am always very humble when I am learning. That is why I made it to this far, to do what people deem I cannot do. I am proud of myself, as I saying it, can you say the same thing to yourself? People can hate me with all their wishes, cos I dont care=) In life, there are people who love me for what I am, I have the list of them marked in my heart. A million thanks to them too as they pushing me to work extra hard. My cliques push me to study harder to reach their standards & do well.

My baby, thank you so much after so much. I love the Valentine day though I nagged about the rose part. I love the seafood meal which you cooked for me as it digested inside me, it melts inside my heart too. Darling, as much as happiness is with us unhappiness will too, so I thank you for your ears & patience for me at times

Though I am studying almost everyday, I have my life too. My life is with my DAD, BABY, Rach, Grace, Lydia, Ezra, Stephenie, Charles & they are called L.O.V.E=)

I dont have to be alone whilst Watching Movie, Singing, Playing Mahjong, Playing Monopoly, dreaming, smiling, talking, chatting, joking, nagging, appreciating, learning STUDYING & even walking & crying as I am bliss knowing they appreciates me.

I am feeling so bliss whilst I recieved their msg=) So my blog song is illustrating my happiness, Taylor Swift & my love story=)

To whoever the fake "forbiddenowin" / friends' is I am not bothered by you too. I guessed you have to show more improvement in your own english then those who fail their english, so happens that there are tons of people around the globe who are not familiarise with english. I am fine with the way I am blogging & whether the decision to blog lies solely on me, alright. I have my RIGHT to blog=) as according to the law although some rights are indeed sujected to the law. But if you are studying law, then go to the chapter, Civil Liberities in your Public Law study guide & read about it=)

Human bound to make mistakess no one is perfect, so I dont need to try hard to be perfect in your eyes as you are NOTHING to me. Give yourself some respect=) I hope I will have no more conversation with you anymore.

I am going to live a moderate life from now onwards to May!
1) Max. 6 movies per month
2) No clubbing
3) No eating lunch & Only one Hot chocolate with milk per day
4) No reuqesting for more money
5) Sleep at 11pm & Wake up at 4.30am to study in every Mon - Thur

So my friends, Dont tempted me anymore, okie?

I will try to post the pictures asap.

I saw a rainbow whilst I am on the train home ytd

To Liyana & Shan, work hard for your studies too

I miss my Baby & Cliques=(

Bid Here

Adious

Unwell

Hey, I'm feeling blue today, hence my blog song is a old (not too old) song named Unwell. I am not physically unwell but mentally. Perhaps, it is the over-working impact so now I feel like throwing out my problem. Luckily Valentine Day is around the corner *weak smile*

It isnt concerning about the tagboard thingy, since those people criticised me quite a few times but without correcting my mistake(s) that simply shows either they are immature to think tht i will be bothered with them or they think too highly of themselves. They probably should really reflect to see whether they try to correct themselves before critisicing others'.

In fact, the issue is about my school discussion group. Apparently, I felt very uncomfortable & transparent there, although I wanted to try my best to blend in at first. I think I've tried but not hard enough. I seldom feel so discouraged yet I cannot figure out the reason. I know myself too well to say there is no personal grudges included thus it is either to walk into my class to receive scolding or to input hardwork & see nothing in return that makes me so helpless.

I might appear stupid most of the time, but not this time.

I requested to change my group (not because I need to be with my friend) & didnt want to go to school today, knowing that the same old scene will act again.

I even feel that if I had gone to school, I would not show my work & find ways to get chased out of the classroom.

Im not a selfish person most of the time, but I chose to be this time.

Im not very demanding person (maybe when I was buying stuff) most of the time, but I chose to be troublesome jus for this time.

I need to be respected as how I respect people

I hate to be detest by others' but this time everyone can hate me for all I care.

I may not be enjoying the new group for all I care, right now I am suffering.

I dont fool wit my studies because I cannot afford to as I have my plans to follow up.

I am so sorry that I am choosing & whinning about my group although I know it is not right as I am not good enought to be choosy either.

I am what I described to you that "You either hate or love me when you know me".

I am decribed by my blog song & tht is exactly how I am feeling.

I want to make this decision without regret like how I always do.

I want to get started & smile brightly on everyday again.

That's all I want to say.

Hope for the best, pray for the worst

Thank you all for you who adviced me for this matter.

Grace & Rachel, Thanks for checking my english & I have to say it makes me smile while I am correcting myself=)

Bid Here

Adious

Another new chapter on her life

Hello Hello~~ It is 2009 according to Chinese Lunar Calandar; supposed to be the offical start of the year around the globe cos of the summer start but again the English are very smart to think 0101 to start a year=) *Wink*

It is not the end but rather the start of a chapter!! Lengthy posty=)

I having very good start of the year so tht I CANNOT gamble cos I can bound to lose..Hence, I not going to! In additional, I am fighting everyday to grant me more time for love & fun. Nothing is enough, although i have got plenty.

52 weeks in a year, 4 weeks in a month, 7 days in a week, 24 hours in a day, 60 min in an hour, 60 senonds in a min.

The weekdays, love & have fun with my cliques & studies & baby

The weekends, love & have fun with my baby.

It repeats its cycle for the whole year for 352days=)

Doubiously, I enjoyed my visiting alot for this year as it has been so different from the past few years. My friends never visited my place for CNY & it is the first time it happened. Funny thing is they all enjoyed it; the noise from .... ... It is also the first time I hav a boyfriend family to visit to. Everyone including me has a first time to everything=) Lastly, the first time for me to become a Mahjong Mistress=)

Whilst I was tidying my room, I found my CME work which Mrs Logan made me worked on in 2005 & little I realised that I am actually fulfilling one by one but except the wrong course and school. It was written to be Design / IT program, nevertheless I went to a more specific course. I stated that I wanted to marry in 2014 & now I have a change of plan, probably to engage in 2014 instead of marrying.

Time files, a work done 4 years ago, seem like yesterday when i jus glanced at it. A young & navie girl will change time to time, jus like what I wrote about marriage. It is absurd to type it out but the standard of my partner has unfortuntely hike up & the name of my childrens' changes time to time. Everything about 4 years ago, came back to me & this is one of those reasons I am playing this blog song=)

At the same time, some dreams are still dream to catch for me=) I will catch it as I promised myself together with more dreams cos I will make a difference in my life. It is jus too important for me not to, I dont wan to live my life with regrets. So far, I dont not but for one thing which I never will forget, never will I. Everything, now turns out fine as much as I am concerned with a different group of supportive friends are even better. I never thought that 3 girls can form a circle to communicate until Rachel & Grace then I found myself too carefree to do so. It is better than any friendship I ever have, we are very common & both are much intelligent than i am. Blessing instead of Jealously we will give to one another.

This chapter is the chapter I marked to remember my entire life althought I will have tons of people to give thanks to.=) I have new objectives in my life to which I stated in the left side of this blog. Living a life without any regrets is the top priority!!

Thanks to my daddy who said during 'Lo Hei' treat ytd tht to get to Cambridge & Oxford which is barely impossible=) All the support you have been given me whihc were everything tht I can asked for.

Happy Anniversary to Desmy=) I have a letter to be given to you from your angel!! haha..The brightest Sun Ray I have been exposed to!! Thank you, you!! Sorry for the insufficent time for you for the weekdays cos I have to study real hard. Anyway, thanks for being there so so much.

I am having the most tough & happiest time of my life. I never see myself study hard till now, I am so unexpected as known to some. By 2012 is the year I want to see myself graduating my LLB. By the way, congrats to Ezra (Lord Denning II) it gives us more reasons to work hard=)

This song sang by Celine Dion in the 80s is a classic & 3 reasons for this song! First, I love it as it is suitable for my post. Secondly, Rachel suggested me to. Thirdly, I am very inspired by this singer. Read her in wiki!! Haha..

The pictures I will update asap=) Doing my work soon=) I think it is time to revamp my blog, do you think the same?

Thank you God for everything, really!!

Miss & love my Baby Baby Baby!!

Love my cliques=)

Bid Here

Adious

09 First Blog

I do misses all of you but i had tons of thing to attend to. I had just finish my Mock Examination & gotten back results for it & O level English.

But first, I am going to show you picture regarding my New Year Celebration. It is superb if one is to say, we won a 4.5l of Black Label (Cannon) in M Hotel & make new causal friends. Check out the pictures & we recieved the first best present from God!!

I was duly mugging on the week of my examination, this one could say is last minute studying but I did the best i could. Except for 2 days where I accompanied Michell & Chrissie to eat, shop & club!! On the previous day of my last paper, I only had my dinner at 12.30am after my dad dragged me out from my room. Do not do last minute studying anymore cos it is no good for your health.

Ask me 'How was the paper', one would said tht they are fine!!
Ask me 'About the paper', one would said they are good but it was me who screw up.
I screwed up in my Criminal paper by answering the wrongly for a question & miss alot of things out which i was quite good during revision time.
Contract was okie from a 2 to a pass is an achievement, probably scored higher if i have time to finish my last question.
Public is the least expected one, I barely study & 6 marks to pass.
Lastly, Common is the most frustrated of all, I reckon was the mentor or i'm the one was screwed up. I have alot of reservation regards on him & stuff, holding my temper & try to be nice..

On the last day of the paper, we all went to watch Red Cliff 2 at Cine together.. Awesome movie in my opinion!! The weekends I spent it with my Sarang cos I have not seen him for a week and Great Seafood Dinner with his Parents' & friends on Saturday! On Sunday, we went to watch Seven Pound=)

On Monday, 7 of us went to Bugis Street to shop for new year stuff!! Well, it was my idea but a good one. I got the most bags home, cos the stuffs there are super cheap~~ so cheapppy!! I am cheapskate..Then we went to Holiday Inn where Mrs Chong staying for buffet then we went up to her room where i stayed for a night!! Cheap & Nice Buffet.. The Pictures I will update soon!!

On Tuesday & Wednesday, the new tutorial group started which was so bad as I thought. Hmm, I gotten my English result only on Wednesday, L1R4 is 20 but I dont need it anymore.=) B3 made me cant stop smiling for the whole day, I am not like those lousy bum in the past anymore. My cliques are very supportive, like Rachel, Grace & President gave me words of encouragement. Ezra of cos, has his own way of expressing him. My BABY, treated me Billy Bomber on the following day, the sweetest. Hui Shan, I felt her true happiness for me. Thank you girl!! I scored the same as my cousin!! Wee~~ Rach, Steph & myself went singing together on Tues!! Weee~~LUCKY~~

But in reality, everything good thing does come with a price. My mum hates that I am good jus like a petty bitch. Hais, disowning is the best thing I seriously think we should adopt cos I am tired to be dragged by her nonsenses. I have no such time for all this cos my degree is the one which matters to me the most. I still cried hard that day, my Baby was the suffering one, we went out & met Charles at night to watch Ong Bak 2. Funny movie, dont watch it okie!! On the same day, Baby mummy gave in a Diamond Pendant from Citigems=) Thank you & she made me wear both necklance from herself & baby

Friday, we went to Ikea to shop around & for dinner we ate the steamed Ponfrets I made=) Then Eunice's 21th Birthday Party which is still okie, but tough night to sleep with Baby at night. I felt Terrence nice side on tht day too=) Saturday & Sunday, we stayed at home to watch moive=) Sunday, we went to Seletar CC for dinner & home I went~

Yesterday, we just started our G8 together & we will make sure everyone do well~! I learnt good important things hence it will continue till the exam is over. Bs is my sole aim, I have good & intelligent pals to work with=) Hee, Lydia & I saw an Ugly Famous Icon=) I met Ya Ting & Shu Yi at Causeway Point. I am blogging at this time because for the next 2 weeks I will be very busy. Lesson from morning till 10pm & gotten pack my room till Friday, watching 'Alls well end well 2009' !! Weekends to Sentosa & help baby to pack his room!! Next Monday, you know what is tht~~Chinese New Year EVE!!!

So You can dance, you can Jump HAVING the time of your life..Wooh, see tht girl..she is the DANCING QUEEN!! It is my blog song & hope everyone would be as happy as myself~~ It will probably be oldies for this few months, heehee~

Love my Baby & Daddy!! Thank you Baby & Happy Advance 5th Month Anniversary to you!!
Love my buddies, Im having my time of life because of all of you. Different people, different knowledge, different character came together cos of fate~! - Rach, Charles, Grace, Ezra, Lydia, Mrs Chong & Toot Toot Stephanie, Thank you, it is my honourable pleassure to meet you guys~
Thank you GOD for this year, I love my Life so so much!!

Bid Here

Adious