Untitled & Free

I should have tons of things to update everyone, kinda true – but I do not have the time to. I did come up an agenda of the various topics in my mind:

1.       Impact of the Hanoi Trip

2.       Complaint about Halong Bay Tour

3.       Experiences & Thoughts

4.       Life as it is – For Now

5.       Sandral’s Guide: Chapter 1 – What is Love?

Right now, Im taking an hour of time off from work because I am mentally stressed up about ONE particular matter.  I have to write it out, recently I am not very keen to speak to anyone in the world now. Reading, typing and writing are my favorite pastimes for now; and being a lazy bum at home.  

I had a great time in Hanoi, observed, talked, heard, and experienced a lot of things, people, and adventures. The fact that I managed to only obtain a minor injury on my left elbow from a two-time fall, I get to appreciate myself more. THANKS FOR ALL THE LOVE BEING SHOWERED TO ME. Im fully aware that I am not very well-loved, even when I was a kid – there are many people followed me around being of my popularity, information, network & etc. However, throughout the years, I managed to filter and see thru people & deal with a better state of grace. I love how I am interacting with people, those who know & love me / even attempt to – I know & they know that we will be there & OTHERS – Fcuk off. The more I give, the more I gain & it doesn’t upset me very much anymore.

Here, I am going to share 2 stories from my latest trip. First, whilst I was in the mountain tour in Sapa – a village lady did a FREE fortune-telling, just by grabbing me and my palm – my tour guide being the translator. She translated this to me ‘You have a generous heart, bright personality and wealthy person by looking at your face. Thru my both palms, I see determination, hardworking, powerful, and well-liked person with strong personality. You will be blessed with everything you seek for, and bring luck to your family & people around you.’ FYI, she is not the first – 80% of the fortune-tellers said almost similar things. Such prophecy terrifies me than anything, what are my capabilities and limitations? 

Second story; regarding this incident happened in the bus journey from Sapa to Hanoi City, a French old lady was being dragged / pulled around by the bus driver who only can communicate in Vietnamese. I had to shout ‘Any Vietnamese who can speak English here?’ THRICE in the bus, before someone came forward to help. I appreciate it despite of that delay. I did some fact studies in Hanoi, that every kiddo receives FREE education up to 15 YO (High School) & English one of the subjects taught. However, there aren’t a lot of people using it because of FEAR & it isn’t properly taught in school – how much can a person learn with 4 hours and many subjects in school?

Last night, I learnt that I have a bunch of Indian supporters – they are construction workers from my previous work from many years ago. I THINK I received the highest compliment in their way, I was called ‘Indian Actress’ & I had to giggle on my bed so loud. Then, on my way to Lao Cai, I met Xiao Ying (Korean girl), Yoshi (Japanese guy) & Hanh (Vietnamese guy). When I think back to that day, my cabin was all filled with Vietnameses. YET when the other TWO foreigners boarded the train from different stations, they are assigned to sit behide (Yoshi) me & beside (Xiao Ying) me. Before Yoshi & Hanh boarded the train, a random creepy Vietnamese sat beside me and stared at my face, while my eyes was on my hp screen – watching the Reign.

Today’s story – is about Hanh – a Engineering undergrad earning USD200/month & I thought I was going deaf. He came to sit beside Yoshi DARINGLY, announcing that he wishes to communicate and learn English with us. Honestly, I was more into Xiao Ying because I want to improve my Korean. The 12hrs journey went on & on in English & at some point, I saw a lil of me in Hanh’s eyes. By now, if you were in my past, you already know how horrific my English was at one point. I worked very hard until today & haven’t stop learning. Last night, Hanh introduced a girl friend of his to me & she earnestly called me ‘Sandra’ numerous times & finally got my name right after 3 times of me typing ‘My name is Sandral , Sandra WITH L’.

I fancy people who are diligent and do self-improvement, especially living in Singapore – I know too many people who are full of themselves when they are just another empty-bottle. So I was very disturbed by the fact that my limited self to assist them. ‘What can I possibly do for them?’ haunts me. The song ‘The riddle’ by Five for Fighting is playing over my computer now. “… Here’s a riddle for you, find the answer. There is a reason for the world, you & I.” Thank you for lightening my mood a lil. 

This year, I wish to help people who truly need help & wish that they could benefit something & use the same spirit to help others. Spreading the Love, I supposed. I need to find a way to do this, in my less taxing time too.

Lastly, I have query of 'do you have a bf now bla bla bla...' I wish I have but is not my time yet. When I am dating, it will be published in the newspaper so stop asking.

As I am finishing this writing, a random thought came across my mind – I think I am able to answer Dylan Fuller’s question about ‘what am I running away from?’ when I do my random backpacking trips. I spend more time dedicating time to EVERY OTHER THINGS than to myself, whereas I would at least bother about myself when I backpack alone. I spent time reflecting about ‘whether I love myself enough?’; ‘what am I lacking?’; and solutions / mind-maps.

I will be meeting my future-husband-NOT aka Princess later, i HOPE that I will not attempt to murder him for some reasons.